Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas to all!

And another Christmas is fast departing. The takings were quite good this year. Clothes, shoes, an amazing new watch, and many other items of desire were bequeathed to me this year. But that's not why we celebrate christmas, is it? Of course not. I've been having a blast among several assorted relatives. We've played games, talked, and watched various christmas specials.
The Birth of my saviour is, of course the real reason this holiday is celebrated, and it's been in my mind a lot lately (obviously, 'tis the season). Now more than ever do I realize that Christ is real, that he lives, and that he is my redeemer. The gift that he gave me millenia ago is more precious than any I recieved this year or years past. I don't use it or appreciate it half as much as I should, and this inspires guilt within myself every so often when I'm feeling thoughtful and spiritual (a combination I try to avoid, thusly it occurs fairly rarely).
For example, I'm out of reverence so I'm going to move on the a lighter-hearted subject. I have been reading a book that is composed of blogs by a friend of my Mother's. It's called The Broken Arms, and it's by a dude called Tolkein Boy. I'm really enjoying it, and it has inspired me to abuse my blog more.
So I ordered several presents on the internet for assorted friends and relatives, and it has yet to arrive. Consequently, a select group of people didn't recieve presents from me yet. Hopefully it'll come tomorrow so I can dispense the tardy presents Before I depart for Utah.
I got te COOLEST watch for Christmas. It has a tri-color display. It's awesome and i live it. And that's mymaterial attachment confession for the day.
Seeing as my attention-spanometer is reading jsut above 0, I'll jsut express my gratittude for ten thigs and get off. Love you all!
1. Cool Watches
2. Awesome new shoes
3. Fountain pens
4. Remote controls
5. Rat-sized dogs
6. Good reading material
7. Star Wars
8. Chocolate
9. Huge drifts of snow
10. Music
Keep it happy!

Friday, December 22, 2006

Walking in a winter wonderland....NOT

And the snow fell. and fell. and fell and fell and fell. This is one Winter wonderland that you do NOT want to have to walk through. The snow is at least 2 feet thick in most parts, thicker in some. Walking is not a fun option.
On a completely unrelated note, we dicided to do some last minute christmas shopping in Cheyanne on wednesday, despite the fact that there was a monstrous blizzard barfing snow all over the place. And we made it there, though the journey was long and perilous. Then the all-important questions was asked: "What should we do for lunch?" I thought that we should just hit the Wendy's drive through and go to the mall. But nooooooooo, everyone else wanted to go eat a long luch at Applebees. So we did. And lo and behold, as we partook of our lunch, all the stores in teh world closed for the storm, and the highways closed as well. So we all had a slumber party at my aunt's house.The next day, we got most our shopping done (although it took my mother untill 3:00 pm to get ready to leave), and came home, arriving at about 9:00.
But I'm getting some pretty awesome new shoes for Christmas, and managed to find a gift for my impoosible to buy for mother.
How hard is it to make a quesodilla? Obviously it's hard enough for Rachel Ray to have to show us on the food channel. Which brings me to a related subject. My Uncle is trying to plan a local family cooking night sometime in the near future, and decided that we all had to choose the names of chefs on tv form it. My chosen name is Ming Tsai. And it is the most awesome cooking name EVER! that's all.
I have suddenly been hit my the hard reality that all my senior firends are graduationg this year, and consequently will be gone next year. It has inspired me to write a poem called Season's End. It's still in draft form, but when it's done I'll post it.
Speaking of poems, Here's one sent to me by a good friend. She didn't write it. but I thought that it was fitting, considering the condition of everything outside.
Why I Love Wyoming at Christmas

When it's Christmas in Wyoming
And the gentle breezes blow
About seventy miles an hour
And it’s twenty two below
You can tell you're in Wyoming
'Cause the snow's up to your butt
You take a breath of Christmas air
And your nostrils both freeze shut
The weather here is wonderful
So I guess I'll hang around
I could never leave Wyoming
My feet froze to the ground!

Monday, December 11, 2006

Invisible

My hopes high, I approach you
A smile dances across my face
But you, you look straight through me,
You don't see me at all.
I am transparent, I'm nothing
To you I'm not even there.
Why talk to nothing?
My hopeful greetings miss you ears,
Blow right past on the breeze of your indifference to me.
You see others, you greet them
With shouts, and smiles, and hugs.
Others see my, hail me,
Acknowledge me as your eyes
slide over and skip me.
While to others I have a place,
To you I'm just empty space,
You can't look me in the face.
Why don't I just quit,
Just leave you alone?
My tries are futile, I'm a mosquito
Trying to drink from a stone.
Still I attempt to draw one sip
Of your attention, your affection.
As you gaze on the painting of people around you,
Where I am, there's a rip.
But that's okay, because that's all you give about me.
Each day you pass by,
and unseen, still I try
To become visible to you.
I want to be a neon light amid the signs that are your friends.
But right now, in your mind,
I'm invisible.

Friday, December 08, 2006

An Ode to Thursday

Ah, Thursday, thou dost walk among
The fair days of the week.
Of all the school days I endure,
It's Thursday that I seek.
How do I love thee?
Pray, allow me,
Let me count the ways.
I will now eloquently praise
this fairest of weekdays:
Thursday follows Wednesday,
Thus the school week's nearly done.
You bring us the anticipation
Of Friday and his fun!
While Thursday's not a block day
Stil, the classes move by fast.
I love the Thursday present,
Thursdays Future, Thursdays Past!
While this Thursday neither starts, nor ends
The days on which school we attend
It is the day to whom I send
Affection that will ever last!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

What are you supposed to put when you don't have a title?

I love Wednesdays. And this Wednesday was a good'un. I went to Seminary, and then went home and slept, because I've had a cough for about two week now, and it refuses to go away. So I wasted today sleeping, and watching TV. It was prett good. I'm feeling pretty peachy right now, So I think I'm gonna go to activity tonight.
I need new shoes. Mine are falling apart. But I'm waiting until Christmas (oops! did it again! I meant, of course, WINTER) break, because apparently that's the first chance we have to go somewhere that I can get some decent shoes that I like for a decent price. Wal-mart and K-mart shoes SUCK!
I love anything mint flavored. ANYTHING! But I hate, with a burning, fiery passion the way mints rattle in tins and containers. And loose change. I hate not having control over the sound that emanates from my pockets. Keys, I'm okay with. But mints and loose change drive me insane!
I have decided that there is too much negativity in the world. In fact, sometimes it's downright depressing. So from now on, I'm going to list ten things that I love at the end of every post. And first I'll say one thing that I really don't like, because it's good to get it out of the system. Tonight, I will tell you that I eschew pocket change.
And now, ten things I love(in no specific order):
Clouds
Blue
The Fairly Odd-Parents
Mints
Mint-flavored gum of any flavor
Good Blankets
Hot Chocolate
Getting Mail
Singing
and Sunsets/Sunrises
I love all of you! (and that one doesn't count for my list, in case you thought I was listing eleven)

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Isn't it great to be alive?

Life is amazing right now. I have weightlifted, and had fun with my friends. Things with a certain girl have not improved, but at the moment I am impervious to the depair that that would normally bring me. I have been enveloped by a great sense of contentment. I wish I could hang on to this feeling for the rest of my life. But that's not going to happen. However, for the moment I am happy to be writing to whoever might be reading this. I love everything. Math is Amazing, Lit is amazing, I could probably find out that I have to get my colon examined and I would be fine with that. I made All-state Choir. I have amazing music to listen to. My mother is reading me hilarious posts from other random blogs. I have (pretty much) no homework to do. I love everything. And now I will go watch some amazing TV. I LOVE YOU!

Saturday, December 02, 2006

You've been Kwonched!

It is bitterly cold on the home front. It has been frigid outside all week. But I have found a new hero to combat the evil forces of Frostiness. And this hero is known as THE AMAZING FLEECE SWEATSHIRT! I got it last Christmas and it has been hanging in my closet ever since. I pulled it out last night. It is the most amazing piece of clothing I own. I never want to take it off. It's soft, and fuzzy and (most importantly) warm! Also, as of last night, I have decided to wear warm and awesome hats everywhere.
In case anyone was wondering, all of my predictions for yesterday came true. And I ACED my math test.
It has been brought to my attention that the name of my blog is somewhat of an enigma. As you can see above, I call my blog Kwonched! The origin of this word is nothing special, and the meaning of it has no significance either. I have in my impressive vocabulary several words that I have made-up over the course of my life. Kwonch is one of them. I came up with it as I was contemplating the cereal known as Cap'n Crunch. My thought process is rather bizarre sometimes, and somehow the words morphed into Captain Kwonch. I immediately fell in love with kwonch and added it to the Freakin' Awesome Gibberish section of my vocabulary. Also in that section are Sazoshodok and Clampu. I reserve these words for use when a I need a word that I can't think of to describe something. I couldn't think of a title for my blog, and so I turned Kwonch into a verb, and my title was born. To be Kwonched! is to be hit by something completely random and incredible. As I am both of these things, my blog is also. Thusly, anyone who visits my blog gets Kwonched! I hope this has cleared up any questions certain anonymous people have left in my comments.
Oh yeah, and for anyone who cares, I made my awesome blog template with a website. The link is at the bottom of the page.
In closing, here is an example of how cold it is outside:

Friday, December 01, 2006

Not actually on task

I'm actually supposed to be comparing Apocalypse Now with Heart of Darkness for AP lit, but I don't feel like it. Just because I opted out of actually watching it in class. All I actually have to do is read a summary of Apocalypse Now so I can participate in discussions about it. But my microscopic attention span has brought me back to my blog. This is my first serious post. It's not a story or fun poem-ish attempt. This is probably as close to having a journal as I'll ever get. Except nothing ever majorly awesome happens to me. Oh well. Whenever I start getting depressed about my lack of adventure, I just ask myself that if I had to choose between a fight to the death with a clan of ninjas (which I would of course lose. Even my impressive and numerous skills couldn't defeat an entire clan of ninjas), and carrying on with my adventureless life, and I choose life. It's not like my life is boring or anything. It's just that nothing ever happens that is really cool. Like having two monster trucks crash into each other right in front of my neighbor's house (I'd say my own house, but then the debris might cause property damage). I wish that I would get called to go on a quest with a handful of my companions like in LOTR. But it's not gonna happen and I've accepted this. Besides from what I read in the books, those Ringwraiths have some major halitosis. But my life is pretty sweet. I have some awesome friends, and we have fun. That's all you really need.
On another, less listless (is that proper English?) note, seminary was fun this morning. It actually could have been a pretty spiritual lesson had it not happened on a Friday when my internal tank of reverence was running on empty. But it was fun. I feel bad when my moter prepares a good lesson and i ruin it by being rambunctious. But my guilt was neutralized by the fact that my mom ws almost as irreverent than me.
I have a new band to add to my list of Favorites. The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus is amazing. They are made even more amazing by the fact that they're amazing AND a Screamo band. It definitely take Uber-skill to be an amazing Screamo band.
I wish I could write more, but I'm only in first period. Nothing else has happened today. However if anything does, I'll try and post it tomorrow on the off chance that someone actually cares. To pass the next two or so minutes I have before I have to return to class, I'll predict the rest of my day: I will go to Chemistry and be bored while we take notes as a class. Then I'll go to Modern American Studies and have fun with 3 unnamed friends while my teacher makes us do somethigng relatively engaging. The fun I have with my friends will not have anything to do with what we're doing in class. That's just how it goes. Then I'll go sing in Choir. Then I'll eat lunch with some more friends, probably not at school. I'll return to school and go to math, and be bored. French will follow, where we will take a test and them mess around. Afterwards I will go weight-lift, and then I will finish making up a test for math that i missed last week. The I will go home, and chill for a bit. I'll probably end up at a friend's house till eleven o'clock. Then I'll go to bed.

Monday, November 27, 2006

The Night Before Christmas (Sort Of)

‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all ‘round the rooms
Not a soul was a-stirring
(or so I assumed)
When up from the roof
There arose a great crash
And I jumped from my bed
And donned my pants in a flash
In bare feet and boots
I went into my yard
And the sight that I saw
Hit my ego quite hard
For I’d always maintained
A stiff-necked belief
That no life could exist
Out in space, and Good Grief!
On my rooftop there perched
Just as plain as could be
A ship not of this earth!
And looked like to me
That whatever poor creature
Was inside that ship
Was in quite a crisis
For the craft had been flipped!
From the side of the shuttle
Popped open a door
And from out of the portal
Came a creature quite sore
This being was strange!
Its build seemed quite abnormal
And the suit that it wore
Appeared very informal
From its face hung a beard
Its body curvilinear
And its head had a point
At the end was a sphere
The colors upon it
In number were two
Just red, and some white
Lacking all other hues
The language the creature
Spoke in was quite weird
Just some “ho-ho’s” and guffaws
Were all I could hear
Then the critter slipped
Into my home through the flume
And I rushed back inside
And found him in MY room
The fellow seemed quite amused
With my trinkets and toys
But then to my dismay
He exploded with noise
But the din soon died down
And my family lay slum’bring
And I saw with delight
that he’d left presents numbering
in the hundreds, in stockings
and under the tree,
Presents here, presents there
For my family and me
But the Varmint was gone
‘Fore I tell him thank you
In his ship he ascended
So I went to the loo
After emptying my bladder
I went back to bed
And the things I had seen
Were soon swirled in my head
In the morning I woke
And the presents we viewed
And for my new iPod
I thank that little dude
So if on Christmas Eve
You meet critters from space
Let them into your house
And they’ll leave gifts in their place

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Journey of Lou the Elf

Once upon a time there was an elf named Lou. Lou was no ordinary elf. You see, he was six feet tall, which we all know is GINORMOUS for an elf. He had no friends because all the other elves were afraid of his monstrous size. So he decided to venture out into the dark, big, scary world and find some friends. He started walking down the road until he came to a fork. Lou bent down, picked it up, and put it in his pocket, cause you never know when a fork will come in handy. Then he started walking again. Sonn he found himself in the Hundred Acre Wood. It was a little scary, so he started singing to keep his spirits up. Suddenly a big fat bear jumped down from one of the trees, screaming “HONEY!” Though startled, Lou kept his composure. “I’m sorry sir, but you must be mistaken. I’ve never met you before in my life. You must have mistaken me for someone else. Would you like to be my friend?” The bear snorted in reply: “No, I want to eat your honey. But since it seems you don’t have any, I’ll have to eat YOU!” So Pooh-Bear and Lou fought a battle. Such a battle had never been seen in the history of elf-bear battles. But eventually a victor emerged. Covered in stuffing and fluff, Lou emerged from the debris, holding aloft the head of Pooh. After cleaning himself up, he continued down the road, with high hopes. Eventually he came to the legendary city of Boise. He entered this potato paradise, and stared in wonder. Never before had seen a city so plainly devoted to the humble spud. He walked the streets, gazing at the awesome sights before him. Potato restaurants were everywhere. Because he was so impressed by this town of taters, he neglected to look were he was gong, and found himself in a dark alley, all alone. From out of nowhere appeared a troop of leprechaun ninjas. They proceeded to give Lou the beating of his life, telling him to leave their potato paradise and go back to whatever freak place a freak like him came from. Lou followed their advice. He knew that this was not a place that he wanted to make friends in. It was too…creepy. So he left and wandered to Taiwan. He joined a temple and became a kung-fu monk. Finally he was accepted. He had brothers, and peace. He spent the rest of his life meditating and kicking the butts of rival monks from other temples. He lived happily ever after.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Frosty, RIP

Frosty the snowman was a jolly, happy soul. He had to leave his friends and move to Antarctica so that he wouldn’t melt. This is the tragic tale of Frosty’s demise.

Frosty missed his youthful friends, and started getting depressed. To find an outlet for his depression, he started playing with fire. Soon he was hooked, and became a pyromaniac. Sometimes his fires would melt him, but it was ok, because as long as his hat didn’t burn, and his penguin friends were there to build him up again, he was fine. His fires kept getting bigger and bigger, and because there wasn’t much burnable stuff in Antarctica, he soon ran out of fuel. This was bad, because it meant that he had no outlet to take out his depression on. He decided to try other ways to deal with his inner darkness that he felt growing inside himself.

First, he tried cutting himself. Seeing as he was a snowman, this really didn’t work. He started sitting in his igloo with the lights turned off, crying in the dark listening to sad, angry music, but that didn’t help either. Finally, he thought he had found something to help him feel better. He would build snow sculptures of other snowmen, and then he would repeatedly beat their heads till they were destroyed. But soon this soothing feeling this gave him started to become less and less satisfying. He found his thought continually turning back to fires. What could he burn? Suddenly, tragedy struck as an oil rig crashed right into the coast where Frosty was standing. Suddenly, there was black snow that would burn! So did the oil coated penguins, and Frosty had a great time watching them running around trying to put themselves out. But only three had actually gotten oil on themselves, so that only lasted a little while.

The Penguins were angered by Frosty’s evil treatment of their brothers, so they hatched a plot for revenge! That night, while Frosty slept, the penguins built a new snowman body out of the oil-tainted snow, and put Frosty’s hat on its head. The next morning, he woke up to find out that he was black. When the penguins saw that Frosty was awake, they pulled out his box of matches and showed it to Frosty.

“Sorry guys,” frosty said. “The most I can do is light the match and watch it burn.” So he did. No one is sure how, but somehow that match came in contact with Frosty’s new black body. He went up in flames and was completely consumed, hat, button-nose and all in a great pillar of flames.

And that is the end to our tragic tale. Some say that if you sail past the beach where he was burned that you can still hear his screams echoing over the sea. Zoologists have reported seeing a flaming figure with a corncob pipe walking among the penguin flocks at night, setting the birds aflame. Will our friend Frosty ever find peace? It seems we’ll never know. Thus ended that great living snowman who was friend to all children, and a pyro till the end.

THE END?

Friday, September 15, 2006

The Clownpire comes at midnight

No one likes clowns. They're just too creepy. And Vampires are generally avoided as well, mostly cause we all like our blood. But one night, something strange happened. A clown was out, wandering in the the park alone. A starving vampire saw him, and while this vampire didn't like clowns too much, and even thought he knew the clown blood would probably taste funny, he was desperate. He swooed down, overpowered the clown, and sucked his blood, initiating another member of the undead into the world. However, it's a little known fact that clowns are actually a subspecies of human, and something strange happened to both the clown and the vampire. The Clown became a vampire, but still remained part clown, creating a new kind of undead horror. The Clownpire was born!
Unlike ordinary vampires, clownpires sleep in toy cars during the day. instead of turning into bats, they turn into baboons. No one really knows why. Anyways, this is the story of my encounter with a clownpire known as Count Bozoncula.
One night I was bored and couldn't sleep, so I decided to go hang out at the abandoned Amusement park that was on the outskirts of town. It had been abandoned, suddenly, and for no reason. I went there sometimes, jst to check it out, I still hadn't seen all of the park.
I pulled into the abandoned parking lot, and got off of my moped. I climbed over the abandoned fence, and my nightmare began. I decided to go hang out in the old abandoned house of mirrrors, mostly because it was pretty cool. The door was locked, but I had found an abandoned master-key in the abandoned maintenence office. The door swung open with a foreboding, abandoned creak (ok, I'll quit saying abandoned). I stepped in, and started playing around at the funny-mirrors that distort your reflection. in one, I was all stretched out. In anotherm iwas all scrunched down, like i had been stepped on. in the third, I looked normal, but there was a baboon in the reflection behind me. it was a very creepy looking baboon, with clown paint on its face, and instead of paws, it had big floppy red shoes on.I turned around, but there was nothing there. That was my first encounter with Count Bononcula that night. I continued to wander the house of mirrors, and the baboon was in all the reflections. I started to feel a little creeped out, so I left. I went to the abandoned game booths. I set up some bottles, and started trying to knock them over with balls. I missed, and knocked a hole in the wall. Behind it was the creepy baboon! It screeched, and dissappeared.I was really feeling creeped, so I decided to leave the park. I started making my was to the park exit. I had only walked a few paces when the baboon dropped out of no where started turning into a really freakish clown, right before my eyes!
"Hello little boy!" the clown said. "I'm Count Bonzocula! I want to make you laugh! Actualy, I want to suck your blood! Would like a balloon giraffe to play with while i turn you into one of my undead, happy minions?" All i could do was scream, and run in the opposite direction. so that's what I did. "Little boy, why are you running? I'm just funny clown. Let me have your blood!"
I was panicking. I had heard of Clownpires, but i had thought they were jsut a joke. The only thing that can kill a Clownpire is a math assignment, rolled into a cone, jammed into his heart. I had no math that night, so i was in trouble. one thing that clownpires can't endure, is oatmeal. it's too boring and serious. But i had none of that,either. My only hope was to find a checkbook. Clownpires hate finances. I was DOOMED! Count Bonzoncula was catching up to me. I started shouting the multiplication table. it worked! Bonzoncula covered his ears, hissed, and ran away. I was running for my life to my car. luckily, I managed to get away. Now I know why the park had been abandoned. I drove home as afast as I could, and did some research on clown pires the next day. Turns out that crosses can ward off clownpires, because they look like addition symbols. I took a sharpie and drew tigonometry problems on all our windows and doors, so that Bonzoncula couldn't get in. I was safe, for now....