The Journey of Lou the Elf

Once upon a time there was an elf named Lou. Lou was no ordinary elf. You see, he was six feet tall, which we all know is GINORMOUS for an elf. He had no friends because all the other elves were afraid of his monstrous size. So he decided to venture out into the dark, big, scary world and find some friends. He started walking down the road until he came to a fork. Lou bent down, picked it up, and put it in his pocket, cause you never know when a fork will come in handy. Then he started walking again. Sonn he found himself in the Hundred Acre Wood. It was a little scary, so he started singing to keep his spirits up. Suddenly a big fat bear jumped down from one of the trees, screaming “HONEY!” Though startled, Lou kept his composure. “I’m sorry sir, but you must be mistaken. I’ve never met you before in my life. You must have mistaken me for someone else. Would you like to be my friend?” The bear snorted in reply: “No, I want to eat your honey. But since it seems you don’t have any, I’ll have to eat YOU!” So Pooh-Bear and Lou fought a battle. Such a battle had never been seen in the history of elf-bear battles. But eventually a victor emerged. Covered in stuffing and fluff, Lou emerged from the debris, holding aloft the head of Pooh. After cleaning himself up, he continued down the road, with high hopes. Eventually he came to the legendary city of Boise. He entered this potato paradise, and stared in wonder. Never before had seen a city so plainly devoted to the humble spud. He walked the streets, gazing at the awesome sights before him. Potato restaurants were everywhere. Because he was so impressed by this town of taters, he neglected to look were he was gong, and found himself in a dark alley, all alone. From out of nowhere appeared a troop of leprechaun ninjas. They proceeded to give Lou the beating of his life, telling him to leave their potato paradise and go back to whatever freak place a freak like him came from. Lou followed their advice. He knew that this was not a place that he wanted to make friends in. It was too…creepy. So he left and wandered to Taiwan. He joined a temple and became a kung-fu monk. Finally he was accepted. He had brothers, and peace. He spent the rest of his life meditating and kicking the butts of rival monks from other temples. He lived happily ever after.